Friday, February 25, 2011

You're Dead to Me, Chaz

Charlie Sheen has been saying a lot of crazy things lately, among them "Thomas Jefferson is a pussy" and "Alcoholics Anonymous is a cult."  But nothing is as crazy as him calling Major League 3: Back to the Minors "an abortion."  Well, I guess that's something Charlie Sheen would know a lot about (you think the clinic gives him a discount punch card?) but in his coke-fueled ramblings, Charlie Sheen has failed to see the good things that Major League 3 has given us, things that Charlie Sheen is trying to take away from you.

1) Walton Goggins.  He'd mostly done TV up until Major League, and this movie gave America a chance to see his glorious ass in a tight baseball uniform.  America's favorite pastime ladies and gents . . . staring at nice asses on a big screen.

2) Kenny Johnson.  From a series of TV bit parts came this glorious hunk of a man, with his bowl cut and his six pack abs.  He and Walton Goggins were roommates on the set, and BFFs for life.

All Signs Point to HOT
3) Kenny Johnson in a leotard.  It took me awhile to decide whether this was sexy or not

Without Major League 3, there would be no Lemansky.  No heartbreaking season 5 finale of The Shield.  Charlie Sheen is trying to take that away from you.  You wouldn't let a coke addict break into your house and take your stereo, would you?  No, so are we going to let one come into our hearts and take away something so much more precious?    

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