The Boys on Film Guide to Being Deathly Ill

If you're anything like me, you're going to work yourself into a crippling cold/flu sometime this winter.  And if you're anything like me, you're also going to be a big baby about it.  When I am sick, I require the utmost in pampering and comfort, i.e. making a nest on the couch, catering to my demands for drugs/remedies and letting me watch whatever I want to watch on TV.

For your convenience, I've compiled my essential pairings for surviving the flu season--these remedies and shows are tested and proven to go together like apples and sharp chedder, bacon and eggs, Morrissey and crying a lot . . . you get the idea.

1) Breaking Bad and Nighttime Theraflu: Theraflu is such a wonderful invention.  It tastes so, so gross, but when it kicks in, you feel great.  You don't even care that you're sick . And I'm pretty sure you can make meth out of it (which is probably why it's so effective) making it a perfect choice for when you're skipping chemistry.  It's science, yo.

2) Law and Order and Chicken Soup: L&O is the ultimate in comfort.  For all the bad stuff there is in the world, you know that in 55 minutes, all will be well again.  I recommend original L&O because Sam Waterson and Jerry Orbach exude a stern, grandfatherly

warmth, like forcing you to push fluids because they know what's best for you and you know they're right.

3) Bernie Mac and Saltines and Ginger Ale: Last AWP I got food poisoning, and God bless Matthew, he trooped out in the D.C rain to find me ginger ale and saltines while I stayed in my room, watching Bernie Mac only because I was too weak to change the channel.  They were running a marathon, and when he got back, we watched all day.  It was funny, heartwarming, and clever enough without going over my foggy head.

4) Mystery Science Theater 3000 and ginger tea: I love MST3K, but even more than that, I love falling asleep in front of MST3K.  It's a steady stream of level noise, rarely punctuated by any explosions (which would have cost too much) or yelling.  The movies are boring, and Joel has such a soft, comforting voice, you almost can't help but drift off. (Pod People also has that sleepy new-age soundtrack)  The ginger settles your tummy, opens up your sinuses and reduces inflammation.  The best ginger tea, by the way, is made from ginger chews--pour boiling water over one and stir until dissolved.

Me again!

5) Beetlejuice and Green Tea: This works so well I recommend it to my students in my syllabus.  Beetlejuice gets better every time you watch it, and green tea is really good for you.

Get well soon!