Tuesday, August 2, 2011

All I'm going to say about Cowboys and Aliens is that it didn't have enough Walton Goggins.  Although, to be fair, a movie could be nothing but him standing there nude for two hours and I would have the same complaint.

(If you want the full review, just click that link up there and it will take you to Liz Ellis' The Insatiable Critic.)
But let's talk trailers.  For starters, I reiterate my previous hatred of James Franco.  He makes this face, and I can't do it because I'm on a blog and you're all out there (but come to my house and I'll do it for you) that I can only describe as his "Look Ma, I'm acting" face.

Secondly, I kept hoping Battleship was a joke, like Don't! or Werewolf Women of the SS.  But it's real.  It's real and it exists and it is so horribly stupid that I felt my brain leaking out of my ears and all over my refashioned western-style shirt.

I watched Breakfast on Pluto last week, driven by the fact that I love Cillian Murphy because he looks exactly like my dear friend/former boyfriend Geza . . . but I couldn't stop staring at Liam Neeson.  Man, he's sexy . . . but Battleship?  Really?  Look, I can forgive The Phantom Menace (we all make mistakes) but he conciously made the choice to star in a movie based on a toy no one I know has ever played.  I don't understand why he would do this.  It hurts me to think of all the sad reasons why. 

And that's what sort of bugged me about Walton Goggins part in Cowboys & Aliens.  He may not be a household name, but he's well-regarded by critics, has a small but insanely rabid fanbase (me) he got nominated for an Emmy (some say one show too late) and he has a damn Oscar . . . and the part he played seemed beneath him, like it was something he would have played in his early 20's, when he'd just arrived in Hollywood and would take any part they threw at him.  It seemed a little too dumb, a little too hick-like, for someone who consistantly tries to show his native South as anything but a hornets nest of poverty, ignorance and toothlessness. Even his role in Predators had more meat on it

I won't post the Battleship trailer.  Here's Werewolf Women of the SS instread.

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