Saturday, December 10, 2011

Alec Baldwin is a Douchebag

I'm doing a Boys on Film post early, because I can't keep my voice quiet on this.  It's too stupid and anger-inducing and I'm home sick anyways.

Remember When He Looked Like This?
Alec Baldwin, former cutie and now professional coke-addled fathead, got kicked off a plane for refusing to turn off his phone.  Why?  Because he's more important that you--well, his reason was (other than being more important than you) was because he was playing Words With Friends.

And gamers are defending him.

Hardcore gamers disgust me.  They are loathsome, vile creatures (I can say this because I've dated them) who think only of themselves and their stupid fake worlds.  Hey, it's okay if I skip dinner with my girlfriend, I have a guild meeting!  Couldn't come to class, I had to go on a raid! (yes, that was an actual excuse from a student).  And now with Angry Birds and Words With Friends on our damn phones, we can ALL become self-absorbed douchebags!

Ten years ago we would have collectively told Alec Baldwin to clamp his jowls shut and to stop being such a nerd, then one of us would have given him a wedgie.  Now, since it's socially acceptable to be a geek/jackass, we leap to his defense.  He is the 1%, thinking that he has priviledges that we non-TV star 99% don't, and we're defending him because we too cannot tear our faces away from a game for a few hours. 

Imagine if the flight attendant told him he'd have to stop snorting coke in order to put his tray table up.  We'd be shaking our heads and saying "Poor Alec, he needs rehab."  But because it's a game, and games are "harmless," we jump to defend a grown man who threw a temper tantrum because he had to stop playing his video game.  A grown man.  I haven't thrown a tantrum about a video game since I had a Nintendo.

Word to the wise, Alec.  You have to turn your cell phones off when you're on a plane.  It's the law, we all have to do it.  If for no other reason than having your phone on means someone will call, and you'll answer, and then everyone around you has to listen to your stupid inane conversation for the entire duration of the flight and it would be completely justified for the flight attendants to strangle you with your oxygen mask.  You can live for a few hours without your precious widdle tele-o-phone.  Do a crossword puzzle.  Watch It's Complicated as your in-flight movie.  Nap.  Flip through Skymall.  Turn to the person next to you and say, "Hi, I'm Alec, I'm going to Denver, what should I do when I get there?"

Oh., and act your damn age, you big baby.

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